And… by all means let’s please talk about how much I need this right now?
Addiction Recovery has tested every nerve in my body, mind and soul… I know I’m not alone!
Patience is often called a virtue (I say that’s for a reason) and that is quite correct. Not everyone can be called patient. And some of us are patient in one situation and quite the opposite in another.
When we are patient…
- we know how to wait
- we know how to give something enough time to reach its conclusion
- we pause to allow another the time they need to express, learn, and grow
Sometimes, we wait longer than needed. However, that is because we are patient.
There is true release and joy in expressing your patience… truly, as a gift to another.
We allow things their little liberties and concessions; we do not mind if we have to spend a little more time waiting for it to happen.
Most importantly to note – history reveals to us that people who are patient (and persistent) have eventually obtained their success. Please do not take me the wrong way here… I’m not describing patience as in action or a lack of action. In fact, it means quite the opposite.
It means you are doing your best and waiting for things to happen their own way. “In God’s Time” some might express.
I for one, am not to afraid to admit that I’ve “lost it” waiting for God’s time or for “The Universe” to deliver or manifest. AND… what we resist persists – so in almost every situation where I lose it… I lose the lesson that could have been gained by my patience and therefore the step forward that I could have made. I lose the opportunity to give freely of my time to another, to the moment – to just enjoy the present for exactly what it is and NOT what I want it to be right here…right now.
So, today I thought I’d share with you some tips that can help us to become more patient individuals, and therefore also more calm and likely to achieve long term addiction recovery.
1. Do not raise the expectations bar too high. If you expect too much, you may also want the results to occur sooner than they are due. Actually, this could be a big peril. When you are rushing things in this manner, it is possible that even expected results do not happen… and you can get discouraged. Addiction recovery is a journey, a process not a one-step deal (not just 12-steps either… haha).
Reward yourself for EVERY achievement, no matter how small… you’ll start to notice how very successful you are and believe in yourself even more.
2. Do not think too much about how much work you’ve put into a particular task or step . When you think you have put in an inordinate amount of time and effort and energy into a particular thing (addiction recovery, relationship growth, job performance, business venture), it is understandable that you want to see some positive results very quickly. That is because you are emotionally involved in it and the outcome of your work. You should take up tasks, fulfill them to the best of your ability…and move on.
Addiction recovery is a process, not every step will be perfect every time and some tasks you may want to do again… moving on allows you to shift your focus to the next task and then you do not become too impatient about the previous one. It allows you to take another step forward on your path. Remember, no one promised that the path to addiction recovery would be a straight, easy, narrow and PERFECT one.
3. Be practical about it. Say to yourself that everything has to take its due course of time. There are a few things in life that cannot be rushed, but… these few things influence almost everything that we do. For instance, we cannot make days rush by, we all get the same 24 hours. They will just take their course and that is OUT of our control… so, just let it be so.
4. Tell yourself that if you rush things, it could actually spoil the result. Think about what can happen if you want things to be done sooner than their natural course of time. Visualize these results whenever you start getting impatient.
Really think about this one… if every whim we had manifested immediately… we could be in serious trouble. I mean the Universal Laws are just that… Universal and LAWS… so if your positive wishes or thoughts were to manifest immediately then the same would have to be true for the negative or destructive thoughts. When you put it in that perspective… it’s nice to have a little patience in order to avoid the worst consequences and instead manifest what you truly desire.
When you realize this one important fact, you are more at peace with yourself and become more patient.
5. Think about all the different ways in which your impatience can hamper your progress. You can lose the focus on your recovery, and you maybe hanging on to an old behavior pattern that has NOT served you well… one that may have even lead you to addiction or alcoholism in the first place. And a wise man once said… the definition of INSANITY is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result ( ok it was Einstein).
Recognize that you will not be able to achieve success in future, if you maintain those old habits and the impatience as a badge of honor!
I for one have NOT perfected this virtue. In fact, I find that every single day I am tested in our addiction recovery process as is Benji. But, that doesn’t mean that there is not a valuable prize for attaining this virtue or at least giving my best effort to exhibit patience every single day.
In the most trying moments… just a breath… a pause… a moment of reflection… allows us to re-set our perspective.
To realize that this small thing, this behavior, comment, crazy ol guy driving in front of me, computer that doesn’t work despite paying thousands for it… all that… doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of life… what matters is did we pause, did we enjoy the moment, did we allow another to live their life the way that is best for them. None of those things TRULY affect our lives in a catastrophic way, they are small annoyances… and I prefer to say – moments of opportunity that will flee by if you don’t take advantage of them.
If you can… view every moment you feel impatience as a pivotal moment… which road will you take – will you succumb to impatience… blow up… OR will you accept the gift just presented to you – the opportunity to pause, breathe, learn the lesson, enjoy the moment and give another the gift of your patience and joy?
I assure you that the patient road is ACTUALLY the faster to achieving your goals – yes that’s the rub of it!! Doesn’t seem intuitive does it??
Aspire ~ Strengthen ~ Evolve
(I aspire to be patient;)